Life has changed quickly for mum-of-three Rachel Duffy, who has gone from everyday school runs to becoming one of the most talked-about winners of The Traitors.
Navigating the psychological chaos of the castle with sharp instincts and a healthy dose of mum-honed negotiation skills, she quickly became a standout player in the game. Now back home — where even a quick trip to Tesco can involve being recognised by excited young fans — Rachel reflects on the experience and
the strength she discovered in herself along the way.
Describe yourself in three words: I would probably say: quirky, kind and competitive.
What was the first normal thing you did when you got home? I got into my jammies, stuck a kids’ movie on and snuggled up on the sofa with my 4-year-old ‘Lollipop’ with a big cup of tea in my favourite mug.
Has life gone back to normal — or is ‘normal’ not on the schedule anymore? I said the other day that I got to go to Tesco and do my grocery shopping for the first time without someone stopping me so that was pretty normal but no, life is not normal anymore. Life is quite weird with so many kids stopping me and pointing, asking lots of questions and I’m completely here for kids. They loved the show, so there’s lots of funny comments, lots of events and I’m trying new things so it’s weird and wonderful but it’s a different normal.
How did your family cope watching it all unfold on TV? My husband was the only one who knew absolutely everything but he’d never watched the show before so by the time the show came around he’d forgotten everything I’d told him. He asked: ‘Are you sure you won because I don’t know what way this is going to go’. The kids loved it, they loved seeing Mummy doing the missions, they thought the round tables were quite tense but my siblings? I had a sibling text me asking: ‘On a scale of 1-10 how stressful is tonight?’. They just loved the drama but it was very, very tense for them. I’m sure you’ve seen the video of them all celebrating the win at the end, they just loved it and they’re very proud.
What’s the one thing motherhood taught you that unexpectedly helped you in the castle? I would say: negotiation tactics. Being a mum and trying to get little personalities to do what’s needed to get out the door
in the morning is a next-level skill. I think being able to negotiate as a parent teaches you so much, you can get people to do things they don’t want to do without them even realising you’re doing it, so that was definitely something that helped me in the castle because I had to get people to do an awful lot of stuff.
Did you ever sit at that round table thinking, “What am I doing here?” No I didn’t because I really, really dived deep into that game and knew from the minute we landed at the castle until the minute my time was up that it was all part of it. I sometimes doubted that I was doing the right thing with different people but I never doubted if I was supposed to be there. It felt right from the start, this is exactly where I’m meant to be.
Were there moments you nearly cracked? Yes there were! The confessional nearly broke me, it was so hard and at that point you are really so deep in the game. Harriet was a force to be reckoned with. It’s only a game when you’re watching it on TV, but when you’re there you actually feel like people are hunting you down and as a traitor you’re completely outnumbered so you’re thinking, ‘Oh, God, they’re going to catch me.’ I remember that night, I went back to my room, packed my bags and cried my eyes out. I just felt so frightened and I thought ‘This is tough, I’m probably going to go.’ And looking back now I think it was such a strong reaction but at the moment it was so, so scary.
How did you switch off the paranoia when you got home? I think the time between when the game stopped filming and when it aired, anytime I was out I kept telling myself that this is a couple months of normality because life might look differently next year. When the looks started coming in January and people started saying ‘that’s the one from TV’ or there was lots of noise on social media and you did feel a little bit of paranoia, I came back to the reason why I did it, which was I did this for fun. I did this because I like playing games, I did it for my family so I just stopped listening to any noise and the paranoia died down. I looked inward and surrounded myself with good people, so there was no reason to be paranoid. At the end of the day, it’s a game.
What did the experience teach you about your own strength? I went in there with three little bracelets
from my kids and one of them said ‘I am strong, I am loved and I am me’ and I remember thinking that all I want to do is just be strong in this. Strong mentally, physically and emotionally and it taught me that I’m so much stronger than I ever thought I was. It’s such a cliché but I came out thinking ‘I can’t believe I did that’. I’m much stronger than I give myself credit for so I was really chuffed.
Do you think women underestimate how strategic they actually are? I think women underestimate everything about themselves to begin with. Women are so smart, so strategic, so controlled and they underestimate it because they can tell themselves that they’re just doing ‘what they’re supposed to’ or ‘I’m just being a mummy’. We’re always ‘just something’ and I think we underestimate how wonderful we are and how we understand certain steps to get things done. I think everything we do is strategic, without even realising it. Like how to get from A to B and go through 15 different tasks in that day. We just do. I could talk about women and strategy all day, we always, always underestimate how strategic we are, and we need to stop doing that. If we just let ourselves be more strategic, we could take over the world.
Has it changed how confident you feel in everyday life? No, because I was always confident. I was always confident in myself, confident in my ability so it hasn’t changed that way, but what I will say is that with people coming up to me and letting me know that they’re proud or that I did well has given me a bit of a boost. It is a great wee boost to your self-esteem that you know you’ve done something that’s really nice.
What’s been the reaction at home? The reaction at home has been unbelievable I couldn’t have prepared for it. It’s unreal. All the messages, the banners that were made, the posters, my face on the board on an electronic billboard nearly gave me a heart attack. The piece on the news when they said about putting my head beside the town hall – we had some laughs about that. There’s been little kids right up to older generations watching it and thanking me for being part of something that brought the whole family together. I couldn’t have asked for a better reaction at home. It’s been fantastic, local people are legends.
If you could tell the version of yourself who walked into that castle one thing, what would it be?
Have fun! I was so nervous when I stepped into that castle and there were certain moments that I knew that I was extra panicky. I’d definitely let go and learn to have fun at a certain point, but my advice would be to just enjoy it, have the best time. It was the best experience ever.
