By Maxine Nwaneri
Sadly, it’s really easy to find ourselves dealing with ‘lack’ these days. With the cost-of-living skyrocketing, life being busier than ever and the world increasing in complexity and uncertainty. Whether it’s time, money, energy, support, or anything else, there doesn’t seem to be enough, especially for us parents. I have, however, found that this doesn’t have to limit what you achieve for yourself, or your family.
In my book, I shared about a time in my teens when I was in a homeless and hopeless situation. I was down to my last £3, and lacked even the very basics. I however went from there, to graduate with a 1st from University of Wales Bangor, before getting my MBA from Cambridge University, and then building a successful career, and family life.
Here’s what my journey taught me about effectively dealing with ‘lack’
- Start with your vision – It can be so tempting when we are under pressure to let our situation or resource levels dictate what we can, and cannot do. While I am all for living within our means, I highly recommend you avoid letting your resources, or lack therefore, stop you from dreaming BIG! Even if you can’t see how it will work, dare to envision the best possible outcome.
- Take the first, or next best step – When you are dealing with any kind of ‘lack’, it can be extremely overwhelming as you look at all you have to deal with, for example: mounting bills during a challenging financial season.
This can lead to you staying stuck if you are not sure how you will overcome it. To get unstuck, I invite you to think of the issue you are facing as you would a long winding staircase. It’s not always possible to see to the top, and every step you will take, but you can usually see the first few. If you are to successfully get to the top of the issue you are facing, you need to take that first or next best step. We may lack what we need for our entire vision, but, we usually have enough to start. For example, if getting fit is your vision but you lack the time to go to the gym due to family responsibilities, your best next step could be finding suitable at-home work-out options.
- Stay focused on what you have, not what you don’t. Many parents fall into the pit of focusing on what they don’t have. Instead, I invite you to switch your focus to what it is you do have, and begin to use that intentionally. For example, sticking with the exercise example, you may not have 45 minutes for the at home workout programme you found, but do you have 15 minutes? If so, use that time intentionally, and consistently. That is what I do, and it has been enough to help me get into, and stay in the best shape of my life in my 40’s.
- Surround yourself with others who have achieved what you would like to. A lot of the time, our efforts can get derailed because we haven’t taken the time to do this, and keep being influenced by people and things that just happen to be there. Typically, to overcome situations of ‘lack’, our mindset needs to change, and one of the best ways to do that is to learn from others for whom it is normal to have what it is we are trying to achieve. I advise learning from people directly if you can, and also, if possible, invest in the change you seek via their books, courses, or content. Try to get around them any way you can – a mentor once said to me “some things are caught not taught”, I have found this to be true.
I believe that as you follow these steps, and others that I have outlined in my new book The Future is Greater: A Working Mother’s Guide to Finding Balance, you will begin to consistently see great results come from what looked like nothing, or not enough.
That’s exactly what happened with one of my coaching clients. She was trying to make a career switch into a role more in line with her passion and interests in the area of diversity and inclusion. She didn’t have much experience in the new field, and was worried she would have to take a pay cut when she switched from the commercial role she was in. Using the tips I shared above, and in my book, she not only made the switch successfully, but with a 40% pay rise. She is thriving, and has received several awards and media features for her work. You too can create such amazing results in your situation.
About the author: Maxine Nwaneri is the author of The Future is Greater: A Working Mother’s Guide to Finding Balance, published by HQ, HarperCollins, out now.
